What is a Death Cafe and Why You Should Attend?

Hey There!

Thank you for being interested in the Death Cafe! Which, is simply a gathering of people who want to have an interesting and open conversation about death!

As you know, this is not a popular subject to talk about; but, it's important to create time and space for it.

In a Death Cafe, you meet as a small group, and enjoy some yummy treats like cookies and tea, as you engage in an open conversation about life, in relationship to death. There is no set agenda and it is also not intended to be used as a grief support group.

The idea of a Death Cafe was started in 2004 by Swiss sociologist, Bernard Crettaz- termed "Cafe Mortel" and expanded by Jon Underwood in London in 2011. Jon helped spread the word and encouraged people around the world to hold their own Death Cafes.

The Death Cafe is not intended to be a presentation by one person, but rather an open forum for a small gathering of people who are interested in talking about things related to death and dying. There are no expectations except to be supportive of each other and open to everyone's individual interpretations, ideas, hopes, fears, and beliefs about this life and death situation we are all currently living in. 

Many people have very strong beliefs about dying and the afterlife. The intention of the Death Cafe is to have an open conversation, respecting each person's right to have their own ideas about death. There is no need to come to a consensus or agree with each other at all; just talk and listen. 

At times, the group facilitator might throw out some prompting questions that might spark conversation.

Here are a few ideas:

• -What do you think about people who want to prolong their lives indefinitely (biological immortality)

• Is there anything you might regret not doing or saying, if you died before you got to do/say the thing?

• What will happen to all of your stuff when you die?

• Do you want to be remembered for any particular reason?/How do you want to be remembered?

• Does it matter if you are remembered or not?  

• Have you made it clear to people how you want to die- do you want to be at home or hospice or hospital? 

• How does it feel when someone you love dies? Reality shifts... 

• What about the fact that people who have passed early, will always stay that same age. Does this mean we should be grateful we've gotten to live this long?

• Do you believe in ghosts?

• Have you had any experience with spirits, ghosts or the afterlife?

• Will you meet others in "heaven"?

• Are our loved ones "looking down on us"?

• What does it mean to be "stuck in-between"?

• What is consciousness? 

• What do you think about green burials and human composting?

If you are interested in attending a Death Cafe, you can check out this website for Death Cafes near you, start your own, or join mine (if you live in the area close to Concord, MA).